Monday, May 3, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
What a wonderful day...
I said to my students I will say thank you for today, and I want to devote my blog today for you.
I always say this that teaching is not my profession it is my mother's. She chose this for me. I don't have other choice but to resist but then later on I have to obey. For sometime now I realized that this is really not my field, I often pray to God please put me where my heart really is. Though no matter how I prayed I am still in this profession. Sure my students find me very strict, I know. Albeit, I could say I taught them lessons in life that they could only learn outside the classroom. I taught them with my heart in it. Maybe God is answering my prayer already because as I recall my prayer is put me where my heart is.
I am very tired but I have to do this to say my gratitude to them. I had a very wonderful day today I taught them lessons in life and in return they taught me many lessons too. Yesterday I was very skeptical about celebrations I wrote yesterday in my blog but today I am still not into celebrations, though I had a very very tiring but a very wonderful day.
I would like to quote something that I read from the book entitled Death: The Final Stage of Growth by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She says:
What is important is to realize that whether we understand fully who we are or what will happen when we die, it's our purpose to grow as human beings, to look within ourselves,to find and build upon the source of peace and understanding and strength that is our individual self, And to reach out to others with love and acceptance and patient guidance in the hope of what we may become together.
I can't do this alone. It takes two to see one. Four see one even clearer. My students taught me to see the answer of God to my prayer, that He answered longtime ago. I just thank God to blogging that HE gave me this as an instrument to do and to explore my interest so that I would know where my heart really is.
Truly teaching is a noble profession I just don't deserved to be a teacher that's why I still have to find my place where my heart really is, nevertheless I will still teach these children. Teach them lessons in life but with my heart in it.
Thanks again.
I always say this that teaching is not my profession it is my mother's. She chose this for me. I don't have other choice but to resist but then later on I have to obey. For sometime now I realized that this is really not my field, I often pray to God please put me where my heart really is. Though no matter how I prayed I am still in this profession. Sure my students find me very strict, I know. Albeit, I could say I taught them lessons in life that they could only learn outside the classroom. I taught them with my heart in it. Maybe God is answering my prayer already because as I recall my prayer is put me where my heart is.
I am very tired but I have to do this to say my gratitude to them. I had a very wonderful day today I taught them lessons in life and in return they taught me many lessons too. Yesterday I was very skeptical about celebrations I wrote yesterday in my blog but today I am still not into celebrations, though I had a very very tiring but a very wonderful day.
I would like to quote something that I read from the book entitled Death: The Final Stage of Growth by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She says:
What is important is to realize that whether we understand fully who we are or what will happen when we die, it's our purpose to grow as human beings, to look within ourselves,to find and build upon the source of peace and understanding and strength that is our individual self, And to reach out to others with love and acceptance and patient guidance in the hope of what we may become together.
I can't do this alone. It takes two to see one. Four see one even clearer. My students taught me to see the answer of God to my prayer, that He answered longtime ago. I just thank God to blogging that HE gave me this as an instrument to do and to explore my interest so that I would know where my heart really is.
Truly teaching is a noble profession I just don't deserved to be a teacher that's why I still have to find my place where my heart really is, nevertheless I will still teach these children. Teach them lessons in life but with my heart in it.
Thanks again.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Freedom from Addiction
Celebrations...Parties...
I am really not good in celebrations. I don't like to be the center of attention. It really brings a lot of old and painful memories, because we are quite a big family plus my father is somewhat I think not interested in celebrating our birthdays other than searching for ways on how he could drink a bottle of beer or liquor for that matter. I really don't like parties I am not good at associating myself with people, not to mention I just want to be in the room and read some books, watched television, daydreaming when will my father stop drinking & listening to music as long as I am not surrounded with people. Weird as you may think but that is how we were brought up.
A few weeks ago my former students tried to convince me that they will celebrate my birthday I keep on laughing, jokingly and seriously replied a big NO. No there's no way I would celebrate my birthday. I know my husband understands my apprehensions but he wants me to say yes. So I said yes but I thought I will find a way to stop it later.
Celebrations brings back sad, traumatic, and unpleasant memories to me. As I mention before that there were no celebrations that my father was not drank and not to mention wild and not beating my mother to death. Celebrations gives him a lot of reasons to drink and a lot of reasons to beat my mother. I even remember one time when my father poke a gun at my mother when I was 7, I could not quite understand why my father do that to her very own wife in front of her children.
I know a lot of people don't understand me why I don't like parties and celebrations but maybe to people who have the same experiences like mine would understand that it's not easy growing up and raised by people with addiction. My father is an alcoholic and chain smoker at that.Life was not easy and it's never easy to erase it in my mind in just a blink. I have forgiven him. What else would I do? As they say children cannot choose who there parents will be so I have to accept it. I have no choice. But I am left with a choice to move on and learn from the experiences.
I hope they will understand, I am quite old already to be afraid, well my father died a few years back and of course my mother went ahead of him, which I questioned God at that time why He have to take my mother first. Why not my father who has caused us a lot of misery. I know that there is no way my father would come back to destroy any occasion that we would celebrate (that would be funny) but the memories still haunts me up to these days. I am really skeptical to celebrate my birthday but for once I have to get over it and agree to celebrate it but of course simply and with few people only.
I really could not explain my feelings right now as I write this I wanted to text my students that they will not anymore celebrate it or I could just sink or vanished into thin air but no. I have to face this or else I grow old with being addicted to my fear, for me to be free from this I have to face it for once and be free from addiction too.
How do you free yourself from addiction?
Prisoners of sin
Paul said, "You my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature.."
What to expect
God won't force you to stop doing what's wrong when you say this prayer. Rather, He will give you the mental and emotional strength to refuse to act on temptation. There is no addiction that's too strong for God's power to overcome.
The Price God Paid
It's important to understand that victory over addiction didn't come cheap. God paid a heavy price to deliver us from slavery to sin.
Your Response
When we realize that He truly set us free from our sins and addictions, that with His help victory really is possible, we'll want to obey His laws the rest of our lives.
Though very difficult but whatever the temptation that has kept me in slavery to sin and addiction I ask God to give me the power to say no. For sometime hiding from those painful past gave me unpleasant memories and along the way I have form the addiction of hiding to people whenever I can but I have to overcome it.I know that He will help me overcome my fear.
What is alcoholism?
alcoholism: habitual intoxication; prolonged and excessive intake of alcoholic drinks leading to a breakdown in health and an addiction to alcohol ...
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
I am really not good in celebrations. I don't like to be the center of attention. It really brings a lot of old and painful memories, because we are quite a big family plus my father is somewhat I think not interested in celebrating our birthdays other than searching for ways on how he could drink a bottle of beer or liquor for that matter. I really don't like parties I am not good at associating myself with people, not to mention I just want to be in the room and read some books, watched television, daydreaming when will my father stop drinking & listening to music as long as I am not surrounded with people. Weird as you may think but that is how we were brought up.
A few weeks ago my former students tried to convince me that they will celebrate my birthday I keep on laughing, jokingly and seriously replied a big NO. No there's no way I would celebrate my birthday. I know my husband understands my apprehensions but he wants me to say yes. So I said yes but I thought I will find a way to stop it later.
Celebrations brings back sad, traumatic, and unpleasant memories to me. As I mention before that there were no celebrations that my father was not drank and not to mention wild and not beating my mother to death. Celebrations gives him a lot of reasons to drink and a lot of reasons to beat my mother. I even remember one time when my father poke a gun at my mother when I was 7, I could not quite understand why my father do that to her very own wife in front of her children.
I know a lot of people don't understand me why I don't like parties and celebrations but maybe to people who have the same experiences like mine would understand that it's not easy growing up and raised by people with addiction. My father is an alcoholic and chain smoker at that.Life was not easy and it's never easy to erase it in my mind in just a blink. I have forgiven him. What else would I do? As they say children cannot choose who there parents will be so I have to accept it. I have no choice. But I am left with a choice to move on and learn from the experiences.
I hope they will understand, I am quite old already to be afraid, well my father died a few years back and of course my mother went ahead of him, which I questioned God at that time why He have to take my mother first. Why not my father who has caused us a lot of misery. I know that there is no way my father would come back to destroy any occasion that we would celebrate (that would be funny) but the memories still haunts me up to these days. I am really skeptical to celebrate my birthday but for once I have to get over it and agree to celebrate it but of course simply and with few people only.
I really could not explain my feelings right now as I write this I wanted to text my students that they will not anymore celebrate it or I could just sink or vanished into thin air but no. I have to face this or else I grow old with being addicted to my fear, for me to be free from this I have to face it for once and be free from addiction too.
How do you free yourself from addiction?
Prisoners of sin
Paul said, "You my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature.."
What to expect
God won't force you to stop doing what's wrong when you say this prayer. Rather, He will give you the mental and emotional strength to refuse to act on temptation. There is no addiction that's too strong for God's power to overcome.
The Price God Paid
It's important to understand that victory over addiction didn't come cheap. God paid a heavy price to deliver us from slavery to sin.
Your Response
When we realize that He truly set us free from our sins and addictions, that with His help victory really is possible, we'll want to obey His laws the rest of our lives.
Though very difficult but whatever the temptation that has kept me in slavery to sin and addiction I ask God to give me the power to say no. For sometime hiding from those painful past gave me unpleasant memories and along the way I have form the addiction of hiding to people whenever I can but I have to overcome it.I know that He will help me overcome my fear.
What is alcoholism?
alcoholism: habitual intoxication; prolonged and excessive intake of alcoholic drinks leading to a breakdown in health and an addiction to alcohol ...
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)